Ordered Chaos

collectively conscious

I follow a lot of blogs. And by a lot, I mean like 100+. They belong to people I know, people I just know of and people I have no context for outside of their blog title...but all people with unique stories and opinions and knowledge ... and all offering something for some reason to someone — anyone — out there, including me.

My takeaway from their content so far this week? Questions that make me think:

1. If you could take one week a year to do something that makes you a better person the rest of the year...what would you OR what do you do? And my addendum: If you haven't done it yet this year, uh, why not?

2. What was the last thing you heard God tell you? And my addendum: How'd He say it?

And quotes that do the same:

"If we can learn to read our own responses to our own experience — a text we are writing unconsciously every day we spend on earth — we will receive the guidance we need to live more authentic lives. But if I am to let my life speak things I want to hear, things I would gladly tell others, I must also let it speak things I do not want to hear and would never tell anyone else! My life is not only about my strengths and virtues; it is also about my liabilities and my limits, my trespasses and my shadow. An inevitable though often ignored dimension of the quest for wholeness is that we must embrace what we dislike or find shameful about ourselves as well as what we are confident and proud of." — Parker Palmer in Let Your Life Speak (I gotta read this book)

"The public is never wrong. When people don't respond to what you do, they're telling you something loud and clear. You're just not listening." — 50 Cent

Currently reading: John 4-6 for small group
Currently watching: Amazing Race 15 (catch up here)
Currently playing: "I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes" by Dierks Bentley ... hot. (hear/see it here)

open skies

I'm very concerned with my fitness level of late.

So, I told Bruce (Tuesday night track group leader) last night about my worry, emphasizing the fact that all my short runs are horrible. And I told him that by "horrible," I mean the first 100 steps are just pure mental misery and that the next three to five miles are spent imagining how much more pleasant lighting myself on fire would be than plodding on. His eyes got wide, but he nodded, so I think he understood.

His advice: Add two more days of running into my schedule.

I then imagined lighting him on fire.

But, sans matches, I nodded and dragged my feet to the track and started the horrible running in circles — forgoing the day's speed workout and focusing on just getting mileage in at race pace.

Four laps in, it started to rain...and then to pour. And instead of throwing in the proverbial towel, I let out a whoop...'cause running in the rain ROCKS MY FACE OFF. At no other time is it so socially acceptable to be COMPLETELY drenched, clothes clinging, and not be diving for shelter. The heat and sweat washes away — and with it, yesterday, my grumpy attitude. The downpour and the resulting squish, squish of wet shoes became not only the cadence propelling our group forward, but a solid reminder to me that it's all forever and always about more than this person on this run on this track ...

The rain gave me a little bit of my run love back. Yay.

Currently playing: "Crash Into Me" by DMB

life is good today

That's kind of become my mantra as of late.

A line sung by Zac Brown Band in "Toes" — it's just a simple commentary on the grace given to see the good (or "feel" it as The Wynn Brothers used to put it) in the little things in life...and to immerse yourself fully in the big.

And yesterday was big. It was a good day...Tub got married. (pictures here)

Love and friendship and family....it was oh, so. friggin'. good.

And we jumped into the slice of life God had offered up. Singer/songwriters the lot of us became, our actions and words (..and smiles and hugs) adding our part to a song that really God's people have been singing for centuries...."life is good today" - a repetitive praise chorus of awe and gratitude...a song born of freedom in which we're compelled to sing with every part of who we are...

So, we made the rounds, catching up with family and beholding new friends. We partook of a feast and an open bar. In the absence of white russians, Jim Beam declared itself (with the help of cousin Tim, Dad, and brother Greg) my "wedding drink of choice." The dance floor made a call and the lot of us hollered back — Frank did the worm, pregnant Kelsi broke it down better than the rest of us (as usual), and Greg made me love that polka was on the playlist. Tommy and Amanda looked happy and in love and truly ready to start something good.

And my prayer for them — my wish for my baby brother and the girl his eyes go soft for — is that every day of their forever is one where they're reminded, together and by one another -— in the little things and in the big — that, yes, life IS good today...and may that truth always compel and inspire and motivate.

the ways of worship

It was thumping through our office walls this morning — a visiting worship band's baseline. A new noise equated to a novel concept, one that compelled my co-workers and I out of our ergonomic office chairs and letting ourselves into the sanctuary. As we sank into empty mezzanine seats, the bass led out and a stripped down, untethered, acoustic "I Love You Lord" rose to grab hold of our hearts and bring us to the edge of our seats.

It was refreshing.

You know what else is refreshing?

Change. I keep pondering it. Especially since this pastor I know said something a couple of weeks back that's stuck with me....something about being patient without being passive. Quality. So, I'm binocularing (not a word) new/old paths to see which is worthy of this individual's proactive approach... 'Cause, see, there's waiting on God and then there's expecting Him to show up...

Currently playing: "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks (the stop at 2:05 in = HOT)
Currently reading: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris

baby, why don't we just?

I've been working on a bucket list.

I've got some "always wanted to ..." items, but I'm kind of letting life lead the development of the rest of the list.

And my trip to Cowboys last Saturday night led to some of that development. Watching a couple of the couples out on the dance floor reminded me how badly I want to learn to two-step. But it wasn't until Josh Turner's "Why Don't We Just Dance" (hear it here) came on the radio this morning that I was able to confirm its official placement on my list...

This girl just wants to be lead, and whirled and twirled...literally and figuratively.

But even more than that, I want to consistently strip life down, let go, and just do simple, crazy, spontaneous stuff with people I love. I haven't done enough of that recently ...

Currently playing: "Hard to Handle" by The Black Crowes

real races and metaphors

Let's discuss how SLOW I was in Saturday's 15k. Turtles could have competed.

Definitely one of my poorest race showings, EVER.

Lessons (re)learned:

1. You should eat dinner the night before a race. Food actually has nutritional value.
2. Drink water the day before a race. This is key if you have a tendency to sweat out all of the water in your body simply by stepping outside.

These are things I know that I know that I know. All really just common sense to even the newbiest of runners:

You don't eat? You will suck. You don't drink water? You will suck. It is a simple case of cause and effect. Big fat duh, duh, duh.

Still, I ignored the proven truths ... and, well, I kind of feel like there's no excuse for that brand of idiocy.

But I don't think I'm alone in my moron-ness. Even Paul acknowledges in Scripture the bewildering reality of how humans CONSISTENTLY do what we don't want to do (namely that which we KNOW we ought not do). That includes choosing NOT to do the things we ought, as well.

And you're right, I probably shouldn't be beating myself up. I mean, not drinking water isn't much of a sin. And neglecting to eat dinner isn't going to really budge my moral compass. However, my lack of care to do what I ought totally altered my ability to run well the race I was in.

I made some bad decisions and totally paid for it. That's heavy, holistic stuff.

What I mean is that I just don't want to make the same mistakes in the race that really matters — my marathon. Ha, KIDDING. I meant the one Paul's talking about in Hebrews 12 (and Galatians and 1 Corinthians ... ) — the one winding its way toward (and through) an eternal Kingdom.

I'm just sayin.'

Related: I think we choose the wrong things because they're easy ... and we choose not to do the right things because they're harder. So, turns out we're really lazy. Ouch. Maybe it's time to get off the couch? Or, I don't know, just grab a glass of water?

Unrelated: "Cowboy Casanova" just canceled out any cred Carrie Underwood may have acquired as a country artist in my book. Ick.

Currently playing: Catching up on Summit sermons
Currently reading: Angry Conversations with God: A Snarky But Authentic Spiritual Memoir by Susan E. Isaacs

simple church

This is my small group. We meet on Tuesdays at 7:00 to "learn, serve and worship together." I literally run to group — coming straight off the nearby track, dripping sweat and begging for water. No one seems to mind. I appreciate that.

We had a fun night last night — talking taboo topics and bobbing our heads to 90's music while munching on tacos and queso. We put on matching outfits and took a family portrait (evidenced on Flickr, too).

We were taking a break from working through Andy Stanley's The Principle of the Path.

Our next study will be one of our own making — coming to group prepared to share what God's taught us individually through our "quiet times" the week prior. We're going to read the word out loud, hold each other accountable to practical application of spiritual truths, and open up our lives to the scrutiny of Scripture and this community we're blessed to create.

I'm looking forward to it ... 'cause I love these ladies and I really want God to do more in us.

Sidenote: When did we (my generation of Christians) start thinking we know it all — that we'd somehow arrived at an "okay" state of being? When did we start believing that shocking spiritual growth is something we shouldn't expect or desire? When was that moment when we stopped being convicted out of our comfortable lives on a regular basis? ...

Currently reading: A Separate Country by Robert Hicks
Currently playing: "Small Town USA" by Justin Moore

responsibility

"As a leader, remember: you’re not the only one God has made promises to. The people you lead have dreams. They dream of impact. They dream of influence. They dream of maximized creativity and realized potential." — Steven Furtick on his blog, chatting about Deuteronomy 31:7

she ain't right, part 2

"one thing that sometimes bothers me [about Twitter] is that it's so easy to paint our worlds as perfect...it's so easy to hide behind our usernames and our follower counts and only come and reveal the parts of our lives that shine...I know there's Post Secret and Secret Tweet where people can anonymously talk about their lives and problems but what if we owned up to some of it with our actual identities?" — Jeremy Cowart, photographer, on his blog

Truth: I don't post what I want to.

At least not much anymore. For more than a year now, I've censored myself on my blog. At some point I became afraid of tainting your view of me or offending your sensibilities. So, I stopped laying it out like I once did. I stopped being really real (or revealing).

(Which makes for bad writing, passionless and lacking in personality. Please accept my apology for boring you to bits...)

But on the heels of hanging out with David, studying Peter's missteps in Scripture, and reading Cowart's recent post ("The Truth Will Set You Free"), I'm beginning to wonder at the wisdom of waxing so abstruse all the time.

So, taking their cue, I give you some of my truth:

I cuss a lot. I'm really not sure I want to have kids. I'm super critical of/cynical about the modern church, so sometimes I don't go. I worry a lot that I'm not attractive. I overthink everything. I've got a horrid temper. I like it when a little bit of alcohol is part of a party. I've been a stupid girl before (flirting with/investing in the wrong boy) and probably have the propensity to be one again. My actions are too regularly selfish/self-absorbed. Sometimes I don't want to go to small group. I'm lazy — the fact that I haven't produced a book proves it. I love dirty hip-hop. I hate my 8-5 job on pretty days. I have moments when all I can think about is making out, etc. with a boy. I always drive over the speed limit. Oh, and I'm a bit of a control freak.

Ahh, that felt so good. Hope you still like me.

Your turn.

Currently playing: "Whistle While You Twirk" by Ying Yang Twins

she ain't right

"We will never arrive at a calm state of mind until we are taught to repose with implicit confidence in the providence of God" — John Calvin

Truth: I have major trust issues with God.

And I only recently realized how much that truly sucks.

Because here's the thing about being at peace:

When you're at peace, you're genuinely happy...so you're not self-absorbed. When your heart is confident in a power beyond your understanding, you're unaffected by circumstances...so, you think more clearly/react properly. When you've arrived at a calm state of mind, you're not easily distracted...so, you're more effective in the areas you feel called....

I want that kind of peace.

But repenting of distrust is difficult — I mean, it's friggin' HARD. Because at this point in life, trusting God is a choice .... a habit to be learned ... an effort expended when you're already exhausted by the junk created by the distrust...

So, Psalm 119's (especially verses 105-136) been kinda keeping me sane lately in my new resolve to trust.

Why? Because I feel like the Psalm author (David?) is, at times, just trying to convince himself of everything he's saying. It's like he's employing a kind of "fake it 'til you make it" tactic. He's speaking truth, but he — like us -— is still in the process of buying into it. He's not ignoring that fact, but instead, he's acknowledging his very human failings in the midst of his attempts to honor/know God...

He's being so real that he inspires a new reality.

Sometimes, I wish we [the church] were more like that.

Unrelated: I can't stop listening to Flo Rida sing "Right Round" when I'm driving. It's a problem. As is the fact that after car shopping for the bro this weekend, I am now IN LOVE with the new Acura TSX. There goes $40k...I now need to marry a RICH redneck runner. Know any?

Yea, me neither! :)

Currently playing: "She Ain't Right" by Lee Brice
Currently watching: Mad Men, Season 1
Currently reading: Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty

"God shook his head the day He built her, but I bet He smiled..."

feeling foolish

"An obligation to feel can freeze feelings..." C.S. Lewis

I read that lovely little quote today...and despite that I knew (quite well, actually) the point of the essay from whence it came, I choose to read it totally out of context. Regardless of the quote's complete contextual irrelevance to my current thoughts and circumstances, I went ahead and applied it to my life. Or at least, I tried rather frantically for a split second to do so. It was a ridiculous attempt. In hindsight.

We do that too often though, don't we? Read into media, Scripture, lyrics...literature...that which our conscious (or sometimes, subconscious) wishes to endorse? We see signs where there are none. We convince ourselves when we ought not....especially when we can't.

And for what? Why? Because we love our facts. The control. The security and certainty. The confidence...

We want wisdom beyond our capacity and we angle to get it any way we can...fighting even to fool ourselves.

But if there's anything I've learned about this life in Christ, it's that I can't reign if I'd rather Him do so. I can't control. Or know. Or figure it or even me out. There is a level of trust required to gain a comfortable peace in Him. It's a level where transference doesn't exist, signs are not necessary, and context is constant.

Tonight that level looms above my head.

Here's to searching for a staircase. Or a transporter beam.

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105

Currently watching: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Currently reading: Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

we live, we learn

A friend of mine recently went through a rough situation. She learned/is learning hard lessons. Some of my initial take-aways as an unwilling bystander (I'm super protective of the people I love) and a shoulder to cry on:

1. Gossip is a bad idea. In our weaknesses, we've all done it before, but some of us still do it too much and need to knock it off. It NEVER glorifies God, never makes you really feel better, always taints your perspective, and ALWAYS ends up hurting someone...

2. People will disappoint you. Don't be so surprised when it happens - just ask God for the heart to extend mercy and grace in response.

3. There's a lot of life that's simply out of our control. "Unfair," even (I mean, come on, read Job...). But sometimes - a lot of times - we are blessed with the chance to change/control things in our lives. Free will is a very pretty thing. We should do what we can in the areas we can. You can lose weight. You can eat better. You can stop sleeping with him. You can control your attitude. You can re-work your budget - sell your home, eat out less, stay out of the mall. You can learn to cook. You can go to church, voice your concerns, dish out that compliment, and buy that plane ticket. You can say no. And you can certainly say yes and act accordingly. So just do it already...

4. Something better's always around the corner. And no, it's not always riches and romance and relief. But there's other stuff just as fulfilling...A new perspective. Growth. Opportunity. Strength. Purpose. God knows what's up and necessary. We don't. Life's better when we stop pushing against that truth and start leaning into its reality....

Unrelated: Lauren and Pete added a new kiddo to the family yesterday. They gave him a rockstar name. And considering his dad's an incredible musician and his mom's a ridiculously good writer, I have a feeling he's going to be quite talented and quite famous down the road...:)  Seriously though, may God bless and keep him healthy and safe and aware of how much he's loved by his family, their friends, and his Creator. Congratulations guys!

Currently playing: "Toes" by Zac Brown Band

a little salt and lime...

I spent last week at the beach. It was glorious. (See pictures here).

I think I'm going to go again this weekend. Cayla's promised something with sweet tea and mango. And I might to get to see a Noah.

Living in Florida sucks. Not.

But whilst on vacation, I came to a few conclusions:

1. I could very happily live in a bathing suit and baseball cap.
2. We should go "unplugged" more often.
3. I was NOT made to sit at a desk eight hours a day.
4. Sometimes naturally getting along with someone makes it harder/potentially more damaging to fight with them — because you've no experience in doing the hard work of a relationship. I often wonder how many relationships fall apart simply because things ceased to be easy for a second...
5. I'm going to learn to rock climb. I aim to begin breaking a curse by doing so.
6. West Wing really is the best television show ever produced.
7. The recipe for redneck margaritas can and should be put to good use.
8. Vacation should be three weeks long. One week to decompress. One week to relax. One week to re-orient and plan accordingly. I'm gonna start a petition.
9. I am not the best version of myself if I'm not being extremely (and regularly) physically active. My chemistry needs the endorphins and the release. And I can't apologize for that.
10. It's difficult to kill cynical thoughts without growing too indifferent.

Currently reading: Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl
Currently watching: West Wing, Season 2 (via Netflix)
Currently playing: "Loco" by David Lee Murphy (a fav!!)

"I might be a little bit loco, but it keeps me from losing my mind..."

when in rome...

I liked this exchange at the end of the Love Happens movie trailer:

male lead: So, where are we going?
female lead: I don't know...but it's fun not knowing, isn't it?

Simple exchange. Probably cliche. I'm fairly certain I heard something similar in Elizabethtown. But I liked it anyway. Why? Because I'm learning to love the not knowing. Learning to cuddle with the accompanying unease. I'm beginning to believe I can have fun in my interim state. Heck, I'm learning to reconcile the idea of a fading dream of Spain and a sharp reality in Rome....(click for context)

But I'm not gonna lie: Sometimes I actually hate it all. Sometimes I wonder if it'd all be so much more fun if someone else were along for the ride. Sometimes I'm looking for "life altering" experiences. Sometimes I'm trying to force His hand (futile!). Sometimes I'm immobilized — resigned and slightly depressed by the stone facades that surround. But sometimes? Sometimes I remember that, unlike Paul in Rome, I'm free...more free than those with partners, more free than those tied to success, and more free than those with authority. I've got little baggage and a whole lotta wide open space in which to spin. I can climb the steps of the Colosseum. Run down the streets. Stop at the market, eat a plum, and shake hands with strangers. I am free.

And, well, the truth of the matter? Freedom really is a whole lotta fun....

Related: I go on vacation in two days. I'm counting down the seconds.

More related: I'm going back several years for this year's theme song. Keith Urban's "Better Life." It keeps popping up in random places recently...so, I'm taking the hint and hanging on to its message.

Currently playing: "Vibrate" by Petey Pablo
Currently reading: Love: A Guide to Finding It in All the Right Places (the book I'm doing freelance work on)

sweat is glue

"I think its easy for relationships to stagnate. It doesn't matter whether its families or marriages or churches, you need a common goal. It gives you something to work for. And it makes you work together. If you've ever been on a team you know what I'm talking about. Sweat is glue. The more you sweat working toward a common goal the greater the bond. I'm trying to do that with my kids via common goals."

Mark Batterson (NCC in D.C.) wrote the above on his blog yesterday.

I agree with him 100%. Common goals and the shared experiences in meeting them make for the good stuff in life and relationships. It's why I'm super stoked Greg's doing MarathonFest with me. It's why I'm super bummed Tub's knee might prevent him from joining us in our run for Seattle. It's why I'm excited by the prospect of running alongside Katie and Kasey should they decide to train. And it's why I'm always thrilled to hear the tales of my parents' recent bike rides and walks. Sweat is glue.

Never thought I'd be so glad I sweat so much.

give me the green light

Some songs just make you drive faster.

And it SUCKS when they're on and you hit red.

But those times when you've got the right song, all green and an open road on a crisp, cloudless, quiet night?

Well, you start to believe you're still unstoppable...

And you are. I am.
----

What song makes you drive faster...or maybe just convinces you to hope?

5 of my favs:

"Life is a Highway" by Rascal Flatts (or Tom Cochrane)
"Green Light" by John Legend (and Andre 3000)
"Wild at Heart" by Gloriana
"Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry
"Let God Arise" by Chris Tomlin

throw up your chin

"Throw up your chin a moment...so that I may catch the profile of your face better."

These words, written early on in Thomas Hardy's Tess of the d'Urbervilles, are uttered by a character intent on pointing out the historically noble bloodlines (and classic physical features) of another character in the story.

If you've read the novel, you're well aware of the impact the one character's simple bestowing of value on another has on the lives of many...

And if you're not a literature buff, you're probably like Yea, so what?...but if, like me, you've ever marveled at the life truths that constantly escape the pages of fictional narrative, you're probably not at all astonished that I'd read Hardy's words again this morning and find their relevance to my real life....

My real life: I had a dinner with Frank last night.

Frank, a successful businessman, athlete and friend, spent much of the last month in China, competing in an Iron Man and exploring his homeland. We were playing catch-up over fresh greens and I fully intended (and desired) to spend the hour listening to his humbly told tales of greatness and adventure. And while he was humble and his stories were great, I found the tables turned on me when we started discussing our careers (he knows I'm kinda disappointed in mine) and passions (he sees mine being tempered). As the conversation shifted, so did the focus, and my friend set to bestowing value on me... his casual words casting vision as his eyes spotted value...and my chin began to lift in response.

Interesting.

We are children of God. Our bloodlines run far more royal than that of Hardy's character and our profiles speak to a real power and a blessed future. When someone places value on us — members of His "royal priesthood", a multitude of lives should be altered*. Sometimes I forget where I come from, Whose I am, and why it even matters.

What about you? I'm sure I'm not alone in my amnesic state — we all need someone to come along occasionally and remind us of our value in Christ and our related value to others...

So, my thanks go out to Frank for asking me to "throw up [my] chin" last night...because it made me feel like I could (and should) change the world today...

----

*in ways actually completely unlike those in Hardy's novel

all the world's a stage, part deux

UPDATE: Just stumbled across an article on Collide Magazine's web site about story that mentions not only Robert McKee, but Donald Miller, as well. Apparently, this is the lesson God wants me learning??

----

First, let me apologize for the mass of typos in the last post. That's what happens when I try to write at work amidst actually working.

Second, Donald Miller delivered a great message last night to me via ipod at the gym and it deserves a mention. It's a phenomenal message called "Story" about what makes for a great narrative. You can (and should) download it below.

The gist of his message (and what I predict may be the gist of his upcoming book) was that God's got a compelling big picture story going on and that we get to be part of it — deciding what kind of character we're going to be in the tale...and deciding whether we're going to write into our lives the kind of story that is worthy of His. Miller closed his talk with a wonderfully relevant quote from a book on screenwriting by Robert McKee (who is, ironically, an agnostic):

"Write every day, line by line, page by page, hour by hour. Do this despite fear, for above all else — beyond imagination and skill — what the world asks of you is courage. Courage to risk rejection, ridicule and failure. As you follow the quest for stories told with meaning and beauty, study thoughtfully, but write boldly. Then, like the hero of the fable, your dance will dazzle the world..."

So, what kind of story is your life telling?

Would you want to watch/read it?

Download Story

Currently playing: "He Woke Me Up Again" by Sufjan Stevens

all the world's a stage...

I just read an article about how Hugh Jackman transformed his body for his role as Wolverine in the upcoming movie of the same name.

I couldn't help but notice in the trailer the other day how cut Ryan Reynolds had to get to play Deadpool. (Dang!!)

And I remember reading an article about how Charlize Theron put on weight and acted unhealthy to achieve a miserable pallor for her role in Monster years ago.

Then there was all the press coverage of Heath Ledger's death and its potentially direct link to the actions he took to become the character he'd signed up to portray in The Dark Knight.

I read/watch it all and can't help but come to a conclusion: Actors and actresses work damn hard to become who they are are asked to be, paid to be, or creatively enticed to become...

And don't get me wrong — my Netflix queue and I are tight, but I'm not a big fan of Hollywood. Still, I admire their willingness to do what it takes to do what they're called to do well. I know they make an absurd amount of money off of their temporary sacrifices and extreme efforts, but I wonder if we still might be able to glean some wisdom from what they do to fulfill a role:

1. If actor's actions haven't proven it to you, then TV's The Biggest Loser should: It doesn't matter what kind of body you currently have — it can change.
2. Christ calls us every one of us to something and designed each of us for a particular role. So...shouldn't we be going all out in our attempts to be worthy of the story He's written?
3. They make money, but the rewards we receive in Christ for doing our part down here on earth far outweigh anything Hollywood's got to offer its constituents.
4. Anything worth doing is worth doing well...and inevitably requires work. Dedication. Discipline. A consistent devotion...

So, what do you want? Who are you called to be?

And what, pray tell, are you willing to do about it?

Currently playing: "Dirt Road Scholar" by Dean Brody
Currently reading: All We Ever Wanted Was Everything by Janelle Brown

i'm not talking about a house

Though that'd be nice, too...

Being passionate about something doesn't guarantee you ownership. Being more informed and equipped than the rest and therefore, maybe a more credible/capable owner, doesn't guarantee you'll ever get your hands on it. Being willing to do what it takes to create something fruitful with it doesn't get you rights either.

There are no guarantees in life.* Just hopes.

And I'm hoping God opens a door to ownership sometime soon.

I won't force the door open, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm prepared to walk into a new room....and get to painting the walls and picking out furniture.

*Aside from the obvious - Christ, Cross, Grace, Heaven, etc. etc.
___

Unrelated: The bros and I ran the IOA 5k yesterday kind of last minute. Unregistered of course. More than 10,000 people crowded the streets of downtown for the race. It was a fun atmosphere, lots of energy and beautiful weather...but me thinks it's just dangerous to not do a staggered start with that many people. I nearly ate a cobblestone a time or eight. Still, a good time was had by all. If you've got a company, sign up next year....

Currently playing: newest Harry Potter movie trailer
Currently reading: more of "The Secret Life of Dolls" blog entries
Currently watching: Nitro Circus on MTV.com