happy monday
"can I have a bit of earth?"
I spent the day digging holes and shuffling dirt and now ... now I'm just T-I-R-E-D. But our front garden bed looks a heck of a lot better. Totally worth it. (All plants from Lowe's for just over $100)
Here's hoping this Florida winter STAYS warm. No freezing please.
Love.
it's Monday
It was a BUSY weekend. Dinner with friends, family time (x2), rock hauling, a wedding, a birthday party, taxes, a baby shower, homework ....
And, um, I totally fell off the wagon.* I blame Kelsi's "Sprinkle." We had it at Eastside Bistro (their new location — and they did a great job) and while I successfully avoided the french toast and syrup, Christy's homemade cupcakes, placed strategically right in front of me (see above), proved too much to bear ... I tripped up and fell headlong into a pile of oreo icing. So, back to (or always) one day at a time??
*I'm participating in a six week abstinence exercise for my Substance Abuse class ... and I'm abstaining (and thereby, withdrawing) from sweets. Sucks. Four and a half weeks to go ...
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On a related note: I had to create an intake form for my Treatment Planning class ... 'tis fake, but sometimes it feels good to create something feasible:
on enemies
I'm currently reading The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman (by Timothy Ferriss) on my Kindle (for FREE from the library!). It's interesting, but I haven't read enough to know how I feel about it yet. However, I've found one passage particularly thought-provoking ...
"We break commitments to ourselves with embarrassing regularity. How can someone trying to lost weight binge on an entire pint of ice cream before bed? How can even the most disciplined of executives fail to make 30 minutes of time per week for exercise? How can someone whose marriage depends on quitting smoking pick up a cigarette?
Simple: logic fails. If you were to summarize the last 100 years of behavioral psychology in two words, that would be the takeaway."
Is Ferriss spouting truth? Are we really that good at self-sabotage? All of us?
Uh, yes, absolutely. And I claim Adam and Eve and that dang piece of fruit as fairly convincing evidence.
What are your tried and true methods for defeating the glutton within?
a light in the dark
I mean, who doesn't find fire mesmerizing?
Last night, the Mr. and I spent an hour out in the cold of our backyard, whispering an occasional word, but mostly just staring at the dance and huddling near its warmth. Love.
dear sweet stuff*
Gosh, I truly enjoy your company. You, in all your decadence. And when you show up as a baked good, moist and fluffy? You do me in. Funfetti cupcakes? Publix's carrot cake? Aplets and cotlets from Liberty Orchard? Vanilla frozen yogurt covered in rainbow sprinkles and Nerds? Smores? Oh. my. gosh. I'm screaming "DELICIOUS!" in my mind. All of it, all of you, you do me in.
But I think your pull might be too great. … One taste and I'm down for the count and in for the remainder. Twelve cookies, nine Hershey's Kisses, three cupcakes … it's never enough. I have amazed others on occasion with my quantity of intake. That's not something I'm proud of and it's definitely something I'm helpless at controlling on my own. I'm never sick of you … never full. And to make it worse, I crave your presence all too often, on a regular basis. Frankly, I think it's gotten to the point where I NEED you in my life. In my coffee. After lunch. Before bed. I daydream about when we'll next meet and what form you might take. I'm guilty of having "visions of sugar plums" dance in my head. I hate that. It's sick.
And it's all very ironic, because I pride myself on the levels of self-control I maintain in other areas of my life … yet I can't seem to give YOU up. Sure, there are times when I manage our relationship better than others … but I always wind up back under your spell, desperately hunting for dessert after a filling dinner. Looking forward to it more than the company I'm surrounded by. You are too important.
I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Even now, sitting at my desk and writing you this letter, I'm distracted by your allure. Between my eyes and the computer screen are transparent images of unwrapped jolly ranchers and cinnamon rolls. Seriously. It's never been more obvious how addicted I am … and yet, I've never wanted you more than I do now.
But this isn't what I want. I want freedom — from your pull AND from your effects. Don't think I haven't noticed how you hinder my metabolism, dictate the time and magnitude of my headaches, and poison my system. I substitute you for healthier foods. My comfort with you has gained me seven, cellulite-tastic pounds. I see your handiwork, hate it, but find I am still powerless in your presence. You are no good for me because I cannot welcome you in moderation and you are destructive in excess. So, I have to give you up. This thing we've had between us? It has to be over. I'm walking away. And acknowledging you and your pull? This formal way of saying goodbye? This, this is my first step.
Love,
Me
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*This is part of a required exercise for this semester's Substance Abuse I class. The assignment is "designed to help students experience some of the feelings/thoughts that addicted individuals experience when they quit their drug or behavior of choice."
you, there.
So, this utter lack of commenting is disheartening. I'm about to develop a complex. You don't want to be responsible for a lifetime of insecurities and self-doubt, do you???
Kidding.
But, seriously, I know you're out there (google analytics), so chime in ...
What are your goals for 2012? Name one. Go:
gettin' our hands dirty
For months now, I've been pinning (ugh, I think I just became a cliché) ideas for how to transform the exterior of our current home, cheaply, into 1) something that'll add value to our property and the neighborhood and 2) a space I can not only be proud of, but — as a lover of the Florida sunlight and fresh air — also a space I can USE.
Finally, after getting the outdoor bench I wanted for Christmas from Tub and Amanda (thanks guys!), The Mr. and I decided to make the turn from inspiration into action.
So, two weekends ago, we began what will probably be a slow and fun transition. Since being robbed in July, security and privacy have been a concern for us. We looked into doing an HOA approved fence and gate, but that would cost us nearly $1k … so we went with option number two: shrubbery! For about $100, we bought 11 potted podocarpus (buy 10, get one free at Lukas Nursery). It's a Florida-friendly, hardy little hedge plant. It grows fast, grows tall, and grows to the form you shape it … (so, here's hoping my black-thumb doesn't exercise its option). Battling nightfall, buried concrete cast-off and a mosquito or two, we bought, planted and watered our new "fence" in just under three hours. The evidence:
Then last Friday, we made the trek to Pebble Junction to look at, yep, you guessed it … rocks. I had high hopes for making an edgeless patio out of slabs of flagstone and gravel fill. But, alas, my tastes rode too expensive for my wallet yet again! Turns out that rock is kind of stupid expensive. Enough flagstone and gravel to cover a 250 square foot area? Upwards of $750. I kid you not. So, after a couple hours of wandering around the parking lot, comparing stacks of rock and working out calculations on the Mr.'s phone, we settled on making a "patio" out of 3/4" brown river rock. With the help of a brother and his truck (thanks Greggo), we've already moved a (literal) ton of it into our backyard …
Progress is being made. We'll grab another half to full ton on Friday afternoon … and I spent Saturday afternoon cutting the weed barrier and adding landscape edging in prep for a finished product...
Next up? Finding chairs to match the bench. And then … landscaping under the front window! And then … compost bin! And then ... landscaping along the back fence! And then … landscaping under the back corner tree! And then … vegetable garden! And then … And then … And then ... we can regularly enjoy views like this:
Glory.
